slippy vong

2009-02-26T18:44:00.004-05:00

the lost disposables: mark (pre varsity); manchester, vt; new years eve 2001.

2006-09-06T20:33:00.000-04:00

the lost disposables: adam s.; manchester, vt; new years eve 2001.

2006-09-06T20:30:00.000-04:00

the lost disposables: phat nick; manchester, vt; new years eve 2001.

2006-09-05T19:11:00.000-04:00

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2006-03-22T23:17:00.000-05:00

soaked

2006-03-20T23:08:00.000-05:00

bed's call is
no match for
the screaming feeling
that i need
to write it all down

before i've lost
[and it marinates]
another day.

but that would take forever
and

my attempt
would scare you.

notfair

2006-03-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

my dreams have now been invaded.
there's nowhere to hide.

theyallfalldown

2006-03-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

having such strong feelings
in more than one place
is taking its toll
on my balance.

exploring

2006-02-25T21:18:00.000-05:00

overcompensation

stuck

2006-02-10T19:35:00.000-05:00

stuckstuckstuckstuck
stuckstuckstuckstuck
stuckstuckstuckstuck
stuckstuckstuckstuck

this one big

2006-01-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake
anothermistakeanothermistakeanothermistake

2006-01-26T00:18:00.000-05:00

thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink
thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink

coming/going?

2005-12-26T13:16:00.000-05:00

i can't tell anymore

where to now?

2005-12-20T12:49:00.000-05:00

i shouldn't be here anymore.
everything's all messed up.
i don't know where to go.

1203 - 0305

2005-12-19T14:03:00.000-05:00

i don't know what to expect now. i do sense that i already feel a little bit better and that's good, right? then why am i so apprehensive about this? how i've been feeling recently wasn't very positive, but it was intense. will i still be able to feel? i definitely don't want to be dull(ed). that's what scares me the most. will i still have my sense of humor? will i be a good friend? i was writing like mad recently - what if i can't write anymore? why am i wondering about these things? this isn't the first time i've been here.

what was i like from december 2003 through february 2005? anyone?

i basically don't know who i will become as a result of this. since i already don't know what the fuck i'm doing down here or how i fit into this l.i. puzzle, i'm afraid this is a recipe for being more lost than ever.

memory lane

2005-12-17T15:47:00.000-05:00

if it's your decision
to be open about yourself
be careful or else
be careful or else

uncomfortable apart
it's all written on my chart
and i take what's given to me
most cooperatively

i do what people say
and lie in bed all day
absolutely horrified
i hope you're satisfied

isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
to a place where suffering's a game
but everybody's scared of this place
and staying away
your little house on memory lane

-elliott smith

it's friday

2005-12-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

it feels like tuesday.
this can't be good.

happened again.

2005-12-13T22:01:00.000-05:00

exactly what
i was trying to

avoid.

kicking myself

2005-12-07T12:25:00.000-05:00

that i didn't do it when i lived alone for those transitional months.
what a perfect opportunity wasted.

another time, another place

2005-12-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

a phrase that just might haunt me for the rest of my life.

shut up. please.

2005-11-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

i wish i could turn my fucking mind off.

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2004-08-10T21:54:00.000-04:00

code down here

2004-08-10T19:16:00.000-04:00

may i have
your piece of hair
please
i burn it
like gas
to get to
the other side
everything's over there

under

2004-07-17T01:34:00.000-04:00

kiss me where
wrappers fall
below weathered green planks
close your eyes
and imagine the cheers
are
for us
i would clap
if it wouldn't
give us away
to
the happily oblivious
up there
we can crumble
together
if we play our cards
right now
and
then wrong.

idle

2004-07-13T00:38:00.000-04:00

lost schedule
late for class
in dreams
recurring
as frequently
as rain
my shield
is melting
my feet stuck
in its residue
will she fly
off the handle
when your report
hits her desk
wings would
help
me.

depth

2004-07-11T23:12:00.000-04:00

the closer
routine slides
in my direction
the farther
i wander
from bridges
unburned.
i am more
depthless
than ever.

(chest) painmid 2000

2004-06-27T02:13:00.000-04:00

(shooting chest pain)
you failed
to come through
when i needed you
to attack my misery
and arrest its will
but now you've come much stronger
than i expected
and your timing couldn't have been worse
because i don't need you
to consume me
now
and forever
i've got the beat down
my chin up
and my eyes
on tomorrow.

backpackfall 2000

2004-06-27T02:08:00.000-04:00

i just want to
walk down the street
in a short sleeve collared shirt
silver hoop in each ear
big jeans
and my backpack
with the sun
and a hundred people
like me
past antonio's
and turn the corner
at the fleet bank intersection
past pasta y basta,
the college bookstore
where i wrote my third check
with her by my side,
the barber shop she was always
willing to drive me to,
and into newbury comics
fight the urge
to buy everything
while finding comfort
in my lack of responsibility
and the endless possibilities
i once knew
but never again
will i experience
such bliss
i miss
my
backpack

1414 jxmid 2000

2004-06-27T02:04:00.000-04:00

red light
you and i
and the vibrating
rearview mirror
are in this together
am i the only one
who notices
the monotony
of
my daze
is taking
it's toll
maybe
i'll slam on the gas
hope you don't mind
1414 jx

alonemid 2000

2004-06-27T01:55:00.000-04:00

wanted to be
alone
with my thoughts
stroll
down the street
but the cars wouldn't stop
passing me
headlights interrupting
scrambled memories
slept in
my first bedroom
last night
twenty years later
hope
you don't mind
dad
a therapy topic
you are
drifting
through
your life
and ours
mom sits quietly
on her bed
watching tv
with the dog
thought i'd brighten
her evening
with some company
her smile was
all the confirmation
i needed
but i got
so much more
breakfast
clean clothes
and a simple trip
to the car wash
can mean so much
if you let it
and i left her alone
i only wanted
the same.

hostageearly 2000

2004-06-27T01:52:00.000-04:00

i've been held hostage
for a while now
by myself
and i'm not quite sure
what i'm demanding
but i know i haven't met it yet
and i hope this gets resolved soon
because i'm afraid
it's only going to get uglier

too true to be goodearly 2000

2004-06-27T01:49:00.000-04:00

i was only following your lead
when i tore our relationship apart
looking for answers
in the mess on my hands
this mess
that you created
but what i found
i already knew
i never fell in love with you
i plummeted
amd i prey it's only a matter of time
before i make my way
out of this pit
but it's such a long climb to the top
and i'm being held down
by this heart of mine
too true to be good

753ZTW

2004-06-25T00:22:00.000-04:00

swimsuit bug shields
don't taste like
rice crispies
don't sound like
3rd edition textbooks
don't smell like
european huffy jr. fenders
don't feel like
21 rioting college protestors in spain
on
the
steps
of the chavuto.

team hamadawhang july 28 2003

2004-06-21T14:25:00.000-04:00

i'm gonna need some workthrough
with you.
let's make decisions.
do you want to eat something
that we have in the house now
or something that is not in the house
and if you want to eat something
that's not in the house
do you want to eat it where it is
or do you want to bring it into the house
and eat it?
"absolutely super," he said to sr. bleu rooms.
maybe if i knew what the beef stick was
i would use it.
close my eyes
and count to 6.5.
i bet excitement doesn't remember me.
this shit has got to stop.
leave me fetal, please.

july 17 2003

2004-06-21T14:13:00.000-04:00

"too much chinese tonight,"
says says a stomach
who hasn't had a muffin
since canton was home.
is there a dunkin' donuts
in hong kong?
maybe kenny would know.
you could drive a bmw
if you lived with his parents.
would people call you larry
if your name was clarence?

i haven't merely killed
brain cells.
i've slaughtered them.
awesome-lee.
brain dead jared.
my future is a monster under the bed.
mediterranean boat crashes
steer the ship clear.
lay me down forever -
i cannot relate to you.
no fish sandwiches
past 10pm.
scoops,
shovels,
and afro picks all agree.
front seat boomboxes
are the way to go.
plan your cds before the trip
and avoid swerve accidents.
next stop on the tour of spectacles:
baghdad.

august 25 2003

2004-06-21T14:12:00.000-04:00

lonely does no justice
to the feeling
that crashes over me
everynight
after i swith off
the lamp
and head to
an empty bed.
i miss her
more than i know
how to handle.
i wish
she was here
laughing at me.
i miss
her laugh.
our phone conversations
reflect the stress
we feel
to figure out
our future
as fast as
we can.
this bed
is too big
for me alone.
tomorrow
haunts
my dreams.

a message from the present(ly) tense

2004-06-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

miss so many.
little interaction during
days who obviously
share the same parents.
want to gather
with barbequed food,
and good music,
and laughlaughlaugh.
gotta fit everything
into 48 hr packets.

counting summer 2000 ms

2004-06-15T10:42:00.001-04:00

if you had to summarize
yourself in one word,
what would it be?
texaco.
stroking.
pushpops.
wow.
veranda.

{three words?}
ooh and aah.
strike the fish.
slam the pots.
sweet ass, baby!
al roker gots.

{five?}
oh wow,
six pack again.
porcupines drop farts
- feverishly, flavorlessly.
the dentists talk
to anteaters.

{six?}
my god,
she dropped chism flablat.
please keep my ponytails
under wraps.
dejection, rejection
is a state today.

{eight?}
give me the keys
to your car,
drunkass.
funnels of life
fill me with strife,
wife.
if she lifts her head,
i won't puke.

{nine?}
creamy flavors of velvet skies
make me wanna die.
if i had to do this again
i wouldn't.

{ten?}
if you had to describe this,
what would it be?

{eleven?}
never underestimate the will
of a man who has no arms.

june 28 2000

2004-06-15T10:42:00.000-04:00

my life thus far
has been a waste
half by choice
half by circumstance
and i'd like her
not to save me
but to enlarge
my tiny world
as i've tried it
myself
or maybe just thought
about it
by myself
and it looms impossible
above my head
where i stand
i hope
i'm worth it.

june 23 2000 red ink i kms

2004-06-15T00:22:00.000-04:00

i don't have to be anything.
you balance him.
there's another seat
available for you.
make the triangle stable.
he makes me do a lot of
work for him.
this guy here...
i work for you
you work for him
the other arm takes the
lighter.
no, put it back.

i don't know if i'd do
that for my girlfriend.
i don't get any pleasure
out of this physically.
if you were cooking
you'd be chicken livbit.
we never talk about our
personal lives.
most of the time we were
being stupid.

june 23 2000 red ink ii

2004-06-15T00:20:00.000-04:00

realistically, it's not a good
way to look at it.
no water.
nooooo water!
does it enrich the brain?
there's one fog
over the two-headed
tigercoon.
the cabinets have been full
for 12 minutes.
red, go in the front!
i'm so glad i'm here.
every single object around
you is you.

have you ever been to
chatanooga?
before that, it was called
kahula.
yeah motherfucker!
kahula times!
yeah!
bring me the kahula.
everybody's looking for the
kahula.
it just looked like it needed to
be shut.
now they're laughing.